Not too long ago, I joined a group on FB called Nice guys are ugly, hot guys are jerks, and hot nice guys are gay. It was really just for fun at first, but now it seems it might very well be true after all. Not in the literal sense though.

Stepping into Hwa Chong, I entered the world of GUYS once again. From guys in my OG to guys in my class, guys in my CCA and even just random friends-of-friends, they were everywhere. Honestly I wasn't really affected or anything like some girls coming from all-girls schools since primary school and who haven't seen or interacted with guys in their entire lives. After all I had always been in contact with the guys in my primary school class, and I basically grew up living like a boy - tomboy throughout primary school and constantly fighting with my brother. Going into an all-girls school did help me to tone down, but I was back to my crazy self in JC again (ok not like I wasn't crazy in secondary school - it was a different kind of crazy).

Over the past few months I've become quite close to some guys, mostly from my OG. Somehow I just feel more comfortable with guys and I like to talk to and hang around with guys. I've always been like that, and everyone who knows me knows that pretty well. Exception: my lovely squadmates (who will probably be checking back and will see this post) whom I can just be myself with. I hate to say this, but I like the guys in my OG way better than the guys in my class. The guys in my class are either jerks, or just don't bother to socialise outside of their beng/lian circle (not like I really care though). Ok there is an exception, but the exception is actually quite an exception (to be taken in another context).

Here's the problem - to look cool or not. Since all my OG mates have their own classes I can't possibly be clinging to them all day long even though I really love their company. If I'm going to spend so much time with my classmates I have to find some people I can stick around with, but just my luck that my entire class only has 8 guys cos it's a bio class. Out of the 8 guys, two are jerks, three are 'cool' bengs that stick around with lians all the time and refuse to get out of their band of bengs and lians, two are ok and one's just WEIRD. Out of the two ok ones, one's a little unbearable when it comes to work, and one's nice - but effeminate.

I could always try to fit myself into the fellowship and be lian to look cool. But I know that kind of friendship's not going to last, and I'm not going to be happy, so I'm not even going to try. The jerks - I'll talk to them but they're never going to be my true friends cos who knows, one day they might just turn around and stab me in the back, not like it hasn't happened before. I enjoy being with the ok ones, but being seen around school with a girly guy, how 'cool' is that? Truth is, I'm only really happy with them and with the nicer girls in class. If you still haven't gotten the picture yet, I actually think my class is screwed. Right from the start it was destined to be like that. I have to admit that I was actually struggling whether to stick with the group in my class that I always hang out with and give up on trying to look cool, but I'm glad I made the right choice to do so, at least I'm happy now (: Who cares about being cool when you can have true friends?

Well of course, there are the really nice guys. Those who will stay up till very early in the morning just to listen to you complain about your parents. Those who don't want you to be left out. Those who worry about you going home alone late in the night. Those who remember little details. Those who really care. And I'm glad to say that I have met guys like that. For me that's enough to make school life bearable, if not wonderful (:

And then there's always that certain someone that sets your heart aflutter and makes your day just by appearing out of nowhere. Have I met him yet?