So we didn't win POP. It was disappointing no doubt, but it was a good and fun experience.

We started learning our fac dance since the first fac meeting. And then we had fac dance prac everyday, even the whole of Saturday morning, and after school everyday. We finished learning the dance, at least most of us did, by the third or fourth dance prac. We were really proud of ourselves, cos we had the largest turnout for every dance prac. We had a whole lot of fun learning the dance, even though everyone had bruises everywhere(the one on my left knee grew in size every day after dance prac cos of all that kneeling), and we were really hopeful about winning.

So the day came, and we went to the Central Plaza and did our stuff. We had fun, some might have screwed up somehow(my cap dropped halfway through), we entered cheering and left cheering. But we didn't win. Firstly kudos to Ares for winning. After the results were announced, we were all very sad and disappointed. But still we went out once again and did our fac dance again for the last (NOT) time. I think some people were already in tears while dancing, or even before that. I was in disbelief, but actually not so much cos when Ares did their dance, people around me were already like, "OMG THEY WIN LIAO LAR." But I held on to that last bit of faith thinking that we could still win it. But we didn't. So I was kinda disappointed and sad. But I only felt like crying after that when our super nice 09S7G seniors were comforting us telling us that it was ok and they saw our dance from on top and said that it was the best in their eyes, especially one of the jokers in their class, Jordan, and also when I saw the fac comm in tears. But I didn't want people to see me crying, so I tried my best to hold back the tears. But when I saw Dahwei crying so hard, and after listening to what Don and Subha told us, that we were the best no matter what people were saying and what the results turned out to be, and that we didn't go to win, but to have fun, and that as long as we know we put in our best, we should be proud of ourselves, I really couldn't take it anymore, and so tears fell from my eyes. I hope no one saw that, and when Don and Subha told us to stop crying and to tell the people around us who are crying to stop crying, I wiped my tears away and told myself I had to be strong, for myself, for the fac comm, and most importantly for APOLLO.

I tried to recover after that, but then when I saw Boshun I started to tell him about how I felt, and unknowingly the tears just started to fall from my eyes again. And this time I really couldn't stop. I'm really sorry towards Boshun for scaring him like this. He was totally in shock when I started crying, as most people would, especially guys, since I don't seem like the kind to cry easily, especially in front of guys. But I was really disappointed. Not with the fac comm or anyone else in the faculty, but myself. Somehow I just felt that I could have done better and I felt that we let the fac comm down. Thank you Boshun and Meichun for trying to comfort me(with the Apollo-coloured chips haha).

A lot of people tell me I shouldn't be crying, especially Artemis and Athena people, cos they seldom even win anything, and if anyone is to be crying, it should be them. I wasn't crying just because we lost and I was being a sore loser or anything, and it's not like we were crying and not the rest because we're like a winner fac and the others are like loser facs so if they lose it's normal. I was crying because I genuinely felt like I had let my faculty and fac comm down. They thought so highly of us and they had so much confidence in us, but in the end we didn't win. And after that I realised that the fac comm actually thinks that they have let us down and disappointed us! How is that so when they stay back later than us every single day and do so much for us?

But I'm glad that through this, at least I know that Apollo is very united and bonded. We laugh together, we cry together, we play together, we dance together, and WE WIN TOGETHER. All the other faculties, Ares included, are so touched by how we cry for our faculty, when people in their faculties are like "heck care" about whether they win or not. And this is what makes me proud to be a bullgirl.

So, after I got home I thought I had gotten over it, after talking to some friends and emo-ing on the bus on the way home(but ending up sleeping instead), but when my mom asked me about the result, I said we lost, and then I felt like crying again. Then my mom and my uncle were like, "Aiyar, what's there to cry about. There's bound to be winners and losers in every competition!" Yeah that's true, but they will never understand why we cried. It's because of our attachment to our faculty that we cry. It's because we feel like we could have done way better for our faculty that we cry. If you're not part of us you will never understand it.

Ok, so we had reunion dinner and all. And yet again I thought I had gotten over it. Until the next morning when I saw all the stuff that fac comm had written on Apollo's blog. All that encouraging stuff, and how they were so sorry towards us and everything. And I cried, again. And then in the afternoon, I read the message that our fac teachers left on SMB for us, super encouraging stuff, saying it's not about winning, but about having fun in the process and bonding with your faculty mates, and yes, I CRIED, AGAIN.

At the end of the day, I just wanna say sorry to fac comm and Apollo once again, and thank fac comm for all that they've done for us and for the faculty, and say this: APOLLO I LOVE YOU!

P.S. - I lied. I thought I had gotten over it, but tears welled up in my eyes as I was typing this. I guess I'll never be able to get over this...