it's 24 march already. another 2h24min40s to 25 march, another 2+ hours to the day i was born, of course, 15 years later.

somehow this year i'm not that looking forward to my birthday. maybe it's because there's IH test tomorrow, maybe the weather lately hasn't been too nice, so i'm not really in that good a mood, maybe...

i probably won't be spending such a nice 15th birthday tomorrow. go to school just like any other day. no one to even say hi to me when i walk into the class. no one to even notice my existence until i'm needed. and then IH test will just fly by, i won't be able to go home even though the paper ends at 9+, since lessons continue after that. and then it'll be lunch and we'll probably have lunch drill even though some say there won't be. and after school i'll have to stay back for room duty(if there is, that is). then i'll have to make my way to ICA to make my stupid IC(all alone). and then i'll just head home alone again, have dinner, go off to watch tv and do my french homework, and my birthday'll just fly past like that. and i'm not even gonna have a birthday cake (a first for me in 15 years) since daddy's not even gonna be home for dinner. so this is how i'm gonna spend my 15th birthday alone...

i wonder how many people will even remember tomorrow. some people spend their birthdays with a whole big group of friends and family, who remember their birthdays and think of all sorts of nice ways to help them celebrate, while other people like me, just wander around on my birthday without anyone noticing anything.

thanks to all the people who have tried to make me feel better by even showing they know when my birthday is. thank you laura for wanting to take me out tomorrow even though i can't make it. thank you rebekah for reminding me of my birthday last monday (and i couldn't even make out what she meant by '8 more days...'). thanks yingsiu, for getting me a present. ok wait, WHY AM I ALREADY THANKING PEOPLE??

i wonder if tomorrow afternoon's gonna be like today, overcast, and then pouring in the evening. i wonder if i was born on such a day, with a thunderstorm brewing outside. nobody'll know by now. i mean, who bothers to even remember such things (even though i'm quite sure i would if i could remember cos of my photographic memory of all things around me that i see).

有时候我真的很想过着明星的生活，不管走到哪里都会有人在关注你，你的一点一滴都有人在注视，每天享受着被众人捧上天的感觉。可能我会这样感觉的原因是因为我并不了解明星过着的那种被拘束的生活，不知道时时刻刻得担心被狗仔队偷拍，提心吊胆的感觉，或是因为我很喜欢被大家重视的感觉。我现在最需要做的是就是好好读书，并且享受学生时期的生活。这现在应该是重点吧!

by the time i finish writing this post, it would be like about 1h45min to my birthday. happy early birthday to me!

and HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALFRED CHIA!